The Greene Turtle Sports Bar & Grille
Valentine’s Day is on a Tuesday this year. Is there anything less romantic than a Tuesday? It’s a school night, it’s the beginning of the week, you’re still exhausted from another dreaded Monday, and it’s not even Wednesday, so you can celebrate Hump…you know what? Let’s forget that one. The point is, Tuesday is a rough night for Valentine’s Day, especially for those of you with little ones. With that in mind, all of us here at Turtle HQ went to work on a plan that would allow you to celebrate with your better halves while also including the hatchlings. We came back with Family Night at The Turtle. Instead of rushing around trying to find a sitter a few days before V-Day, you can bring them with you. Many of our locations will be hosting a few family-friendly activities, and the best part is that Kids Eat Free that night at The Turtle. So not only do you get to include the kids, you’re actually being economically savvy by doing so! All you have to do is show up and for each item you order for yourselves (a Burger, Handheld, or House Specialty), you’ll also get one free kid’s meal. So fret not, dear readers, about one of the most stress-inducing holidays on the calendar. We’ve taken care of all of the heavy lifting. You just have to show up and enjoy a delicious, fun-filled evening with the whole family.
I think The Greene Turtle is pretty great. I mean, I AM The Greene Turtle, so I’m sort of biased. That being said, even I know that you need to keep things fresh if you want to stay ahead. We’re always looking for new ways to update the menu, or add a new microbrew beer, or maybe change the Crab Dip recipe. Just kidding about that last one. I’m never changing that recipe. EVER. But one thing that we decided could use a bit of a face lift was our Happy Hour. It’s always been great, featuring some of our most popular food and drink specials, but we decided that it was time to kick it up a notch. With that in mind, I’d like you to meet the Brand New Turtle Happy Hour. Yes, the hours have changed slightly, but that’s only because I wanted to include a Late-Night Happy Hour (a first for us). We also heard you loud and clear and have included Half-Priced Appetizers all Happy Hour long (yes, including Crab Dip), which means your Happy Hour just got a lot more delicious. Throw in a different all-day special each day of the week, and we’re in business. And did I mention TWO FOR ONE DRINKS ever Friday from 3pm – 6pm? Huh. Must have slipped my mind. I’ll say it again, just so we’re clear. Every Friday, from 3pm – 6pm, TWO FOR ONE DRINKS. I know change is hard, but sometimes, it’s also amazing. Let me know what you think!
After a lot of really terrible playoff football, everyone I spoke to was just hoping for a competitive, exciting game, regardless of who won. For about three quarters, it looked like it was going to be another snoozer. Luckily, the food and drinks were holding out, so there was plenty of distractions to pull you away from what looked like it was going to be a blowout. And then, sort of all of a sudden but also in a very methodical way, New England was back with 20, and then 16, and then 8, and then we were headed to overtime. Any good Party Planner always has contingencies, but considering this was the first overtime game in Super Bowl history, don’t be ashamed if you had only stashed away enough adult beverage for 60 minutes of game play. Luckily, New England (owning every ounce of momentum) made quick work of Atlanta in the extra frame, and the long wait officially began. As much fun as Super Bowl Sunday and the accompanying parties always are, it is a bit depressing when you realize that we now must live in a football-less world for about six months. It also doesn’t help that we have now entered the darkest part of the sports calendar: football over, NBA and NHL Playoffs still a way’s away, March Madness not quite here, and Springtime baseball still a few weeks in the future. It’s a tough time, friends, but we’ll get through it together. 
While we’re recapping the Big Game, it’s time to go over one of the more important aspects of Sunday’s festivities. So here they are, in all their glory:
The Top Five Funniest Commercials from Super Bowl LI
In ascending order.
5. Wonderful Pistachios – This is the shortest commercial o make this list, but when you have an elephant running on a treadmill and then wiping out, you don’t need a whole lot else. Just plain goofy and funny.
4. Kia – Melissa McCarthy is killing it right now, and this commercial is no exception. Very funny, while also promoting a Turtle-friendly message about conservation, this commercial is hilarious and memorable. Those two words might be the two most important when deciding to spend millions on a Super Bowl ad. Bonus points for the awesome soundtrack choice.
3. Buick – Cam Newton makes a guest appearance in this one, dominating a youth football team. There are a lot of jokes to be made about Cam playing well in a Super Bowl commercial after playing not-so-well in the ACTUAL Super Bowl a year ago, but we’ll just focus on the ad. It’s well done, with a lot of tiny things that make you laugh: the chest bumps knocking the kids over, the coaches fist-bumping after the TD, and the brief cameo from Miranda Kerr at the end. Nice work all around on this one.
2. Mr. Clean – This is not your mother’s Mr. Clean ad, that’s for sure. The bald-headed handy man got a makeover and some dance moves for this year’s big spot, and it was a big hit all over social media. I mean, come on, did you have any idea Mr. Clean was going to shake his booty like that? Great payoff at the end too.
1. Bai – This one made me laugh longer and louder than any other on Game Day, so it takes the top spot. I don’t know what it is about Christopher Walken, but the man is a comedy legend, and his unique (though often imitated) cadence reading the lyrics to a boy band staple would have been enough. But then they threw in the look with Timberlake and the look to the camera. Comedy Gold right here, folks. Enjoy.
A second Turtle Top Five in the same issue? No way! Yes, way. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I thought it might be fun to do a countdown of some of the best romantic comedies of all time. This is a very subjective list, and lots of people around Turtle HQ had some passionate opinions, but I think we’ve come up with a solid ranking here.
The Top Five Romantic Comedies of All Time
In ascending order.
5. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003) – This one was a squeaker, but it makes it on the list thanks in large part to the chemistry between McConaughey (yes, I had to look that up) and Hudson. The scene in which Andi meets his parentsfor the first time also earns some points for this one. Unique concept as well.
4. Pretty Woman (1990) – Remember when none of us knew who Juila Roberts was? Well, this movie changed that in a big way. Sure, she’d been in movies before this one (Mystic Pizza, anyone?), but Pretty Woman launched her into the stratosphere. Richard Gere is in this movie too, I guess, but it’s Julia’s star turn that made it go. Lots of memorable lines, a great performance from Hector Elizondo as her Fairy Godmother (seriously, that’s pretty much his role), and a pretty awesome soundtrack all made this one a no-brainer.
3. Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011) – This might fall on the Top Ten of my favorite movies of all-time list. More than just a romantic comedy, it’s an incredibly well-crafted film with a few shocking revelations toward the end. The cast is superb, and this one may have started the whole “Ryan Gosling is a heartthrob” thing. It also was the first time Gosling and Emma Stone would play opposite one another, culminating in this year’s award-laden La La Land. Steve Carell is his usual hilarious self, and Marisa Tomei is also pretty great in a supporting role.
2. Sleepless in Seattle (1993) – You just knew Tom Hanks was going to make an appearance on this list somewhere, and you may have guessed that you’re going to see Meg Ryan again momentarily. In any case, what’s unique about this film is that the “couple” around which the entire film is based have exactly three on-screen moments and only a handful of lines together. It’s also a loosely-based send up of one of the greatest romance films ever made, An Affair to Remember. Tom Hanks was at his “America’s Dad” best, and the soundtrack is top notch.
1. When Harry Met Sally… (1989) – Deciding on 5-2 was difficult Picking number one was not.  It’s one of the best films ever made, period. It also features one of (if not the) greatest comedic film actors of all-time, and certainly of his generation. The writing, from the iconic Nora Ephron, holds up almost 30 years later, and the episodic nature of the story keeps you engaged the entire time. A score largely created and performed by the great Harry Connick also helps, as does maybe my favorite line in all of romantic comedy: “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible.”
What are your thoughts? Good list or bad list? Shoot me an email at and let me know if your favorite romantic comedy made the list.

Thanks for reading this week’s edition. As always, please email me at with any suggestions for future iterations of this newsletter. If you’re in the mood for more witty banter, head over to Twitter and follow me @thegreeneturtle. See something at the Turtle that needs to be addressed in the Shell Street Journal? Send it my way.