The Greene Turtle Sports Bar & Grille
 
 
HAPPY EASTER AND PASSOVER!
 
I’ll be dedicating a few sections of today’s Journal to the holidays being celebrated this week, but before we dig in to the fun, I wanted to take a quick second to wish everyone a Happy Holiday, whatever you may be celebrating this week/weekend. Take time to celebrate your health, happiness, and the ones you love. And if you need a place to do any of those things, The Greene Turtle will be there to lend a hand. Happy Holiday, folks!
 
 
 
HE’S GOT HIS OWN MUG
 
He's got his own mug
I wanted to share a pretty cool story from our newest location in North Wales, PA. As is the case with any of our new restaurants, the first few weeks are always a little hectic with lots of people stopping by to check out the new digs. We love that, by the way. Nothing makes us happier. One of the best parts about that first few weeks is that, ever so occasionally, we even get someone famous to stop by. At North Wales (which is just outside of Philly, for those who aren’t familiar), it was a legendary member of the Philadelphia Flyers. It was made even better by the fact that this is a huge time of year for hockey (more on that in a bit), so seeing former goalie Bernie Parent walk in was beyond cool. But the best part about his visit? He agreed to let us name Mug Number One in the new mug Club at North Wales in his honor! Don’t believe me? Check out the picture below. Thanks for the laughs, Bernie. Feel free to stop by anytime and have a beer from the Official Bernie Parent Mug.
 
 
 
A SUCCESSFUL HUNT
 
He's got his own mug
As I’ve mentioned before, nothing makes me happier than seeing you bring the whole family down to The Turtle. I like a fun night out just like the rest of you, but there’s something special about seeing the Love of The Turtle being passed down to another generation. I’ve always tried to make our restaurants as welcoming to families as they are to the late night crowd for that very reason. With that in mind, I want all of you parents out there to circle April 11th on your calendars. That night, from 5pm – 7pm at participating locations, we’re having an Easter Egg Hunt. Most of the eggs will have a bit of candy in them, but a few at each store will contain Turtle Bucks! You can use those bucks for your next visit or to pick up some Turtle Gear the next time you pass by. Oh, and did I mention that your little ones will eat FREE that night? It’s our normal Tuesday night Kids Eat Free promotion, but with Easter coming up, we thought it would be fun to include a little something extra to keep you and the family entertained. Stop by, order all of your favorites, and then turn the hatchlings loose for the Big Hunt. Heck, if they get a little lucky, they might be able to save you money twice in the same night!
 
     
THINGS THAT MADE US LAUGH
 
In keeping with our Easter theme, I wanted to share a video that surfaced this week featuring a three year old girl trying to get to the bottom of this whole Easter thing. She has a few very important questions and her exasperated father has a bit of trouble keeping up. It’s a hilarious video, and it certainly left me with a few deep thoughts about how we celebrate this time of year.
 
 
 
THE QUEST FOR LORD STANLEY’S CUP
 
The best postseason in all of professional sports has arrived, and I only have one question or all of you: did you remember to shave so you can start your playoff beard? Nothing is more important this time of year than the playoff beard. I don’t even care if you’re not a hockey fan. Grow a playoff beard. It’s sacred. Anyhow, now that we got the important stuff out of the way, we can actually talk hockey. After last season’s bizarre Canada-free postseason (literally zero teams from Canada made the Stanley Cup Playoffs last season. First time ever.), five of them made it this year. Now, having said that, every single one of those teams lost Game One of their first postseason series, but it’s still nice to see Canada back in the postseason. The Rangers look like they could make some noise if the resurgence of King Henrik in the cage during Game One against the Canadiens (the team, not the whole country) was any indication. Pittsburgh will always be tough, as will Boston. The Capitals, of course, will be forced to beat back all of the questions that will surround them as an eternally doomed franchise in the postseason. Until they win a Cup, that is. Naysayers seem to melt into the background once you get to hoist a trophy. This is the second straight year that Washington heads into the postseason having had the best regular season in hockey, so we’ll see if they can finally make it out of the second round. Out west, despite losing Game One of their opening series, I still think Chicago is the cream of the crop. Minnesota or Anaheim could certainly have something to say about that, though. Whoever you’re rooting for, settle back and get ready to enjoy a couple of months of wicked slapshots, crunching hits, and the manliest beards in existence. The Stanley Cup Playoffs have returned.
 
     
 
TURTLE TOP FIVE
 
It’s time to give you the final word on a topic that is sure to create dissention and disagreement. There are no wrong answers in this debate, but I’ll give you my list and we can go from there. (For the record, my answers are the right answers. Let’s just agree on that right now.)
 
The Official Easter Candy Power Rankings
In ascending order.
 
  1. The HOLLOW Chocolate Bunny – It’s makes the list, but just barely. How frustrating is it to unwrap one of these delicious-LOOKING treats and then feel it crumble under your fingertips, revealing its sad, disappointing interior? The chocolate is still good, but I’ll never understand why there isn’t more of it.
     
  2. The REAL Chocolate Bunny – It’s like number five, but just way, way better. It also seems to last for three weeks, which is just fine by me.
     
  3. Starburst Jellybeans – I’m not even sure this is an official Easter candy, but I always seem to see bags of this magical delight pop up around this time of year, which is why I’m including it. It’s every thing you love about Starburst without the annoying wrapper that in some instances is essentially like trying to remove wallpaper. It’s also the perfect type of candy to grab a fistful at a time, which is always handy. Lastly, unlike regular Starburst, you get to experience multiple flavors simultaneously. I suppose you could do that with regular Starburst, but I’m not sure it would be socially acceptable.
     
  4. Cadbury Crème Egg – It’s a legend among mere mortals in the Easter candy world. If you need proof of its superiority, look no further than the fact that they’ve literally been using the same commercial since the 1980’s. Every year they dust it off, by some ad space, and send the same video out. And you know what? IT WORKS. I love the animals all dressing up like bunnies because they want to be the Cadbury spokesman. Hilarious.
     
  5. Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg – It takes the top spot for a number of reasons, but the number one reason is because it’s simply delicious. Also, a man named Dane Wilcox did a study a couple of years ago to determine which Reese’s shape was the most delicious based on the amount of peanut butter filling it contained in comparison to the outer chocolate shell. The results are fascinating, with only the Reese’s Heart beating out the Egg, and it was by the narrowest of margins. So, on sheer deliciousness and chocolate-to-peanut butter ratio, the Reese’s Egg takes our top spot.

    BONUS ITEM: I’m sure there are many of you reading this list right now thinking to yourselves, “But wait. Where are the Peeps?” Answer? They’re in the trash, where they belong. Worst. Candy. Ever.
 
Thanks for reading this week’s edition. As always, please email me at SSJ@thegreeneturtle.com with any suggestions for future iterations of this newsletter. If you’re in the mood for more witty banter, head over to Twitter and follow me @thegreeneturtle. See something at the Turtle that needs to be addressed in the Shell Street Journal? Send it my way.